Stink.

Well, what else is there to say other than... MUSC is out to make a living, and frankly today they proved to me that they're not so concerned with my wishes or best interest as much as they are a bottom line. They have instituted a new rule across the board for all doctors - no scheduled inductions for any reason aside from high blood pressure. Being that I have very LOW blood pressure - this excludes me completely. And means that there's about a 90% chance that I'll be having a C-section. Furthermore, she so sweetly offered to go ahead and schedule me a C section not caring one lick that I told her I wanted to avoid that at all costs. She looked at me like I was crazy for even suggesting that we take precautions to help insure that I don't HAVE to have a C section... Yeah, I guess I'm just weird for prefferring NOT to be cut open like a Christmas freaking turkey.

She did the ol' "baby butt grab" (felt Maddy through my tummy) and in that very scientific method assured me that she wasn't even 6 lbs yet... the ultrasound tech measures her bones and says 6.5 lbs a week and a half ago - but clearly, this method is more effective... my child has a small tush so that must mean her whole body is a pound smaller than the measurements. UGH. I looked at her and said point blank... "So you're telling me that you're going to let me go to 40 weeks, knowing that Madeline has tested ready to come already with fully developed lungs, knowing that my body can't handle large babies and KNOWING that I'm going to HAVE to have a freaking C Section - for no good reason aside from the fact that there's a new rule???? WTH. I don't care about your stupid rules. Rules don't apply to pregnancy - there is no rule book - each baby, each woman and each pregnancy is different, so who are they to say they'll schedule a C section (which makes the hospital thousands of dollars more while commiting the doctors to less than half the time spent with a patient) but not schedule an induction which would result in a natural birth instead of a C.

Yeah. Rules my butt. I'm ticked... (obviously) If she'd have told me that it was for the baby's best interest to wait another couple weeks, I wouldn't have uttered a freaking word... but to tell me that it's in the HOSPITAL's best interest just ticks me off. Not mine, not Madeline's - but some money hungry jerk who decided to place this rule into effect knowing good and well it'll result in more $$$ for the hospital b/c it'll result in more C section births.

Nice. I'm half tempted to call the other hospital I was looking at and see if I could find a doctor who would take me this late in my pregancy... is that over reacting? Should I just suck it up, schedule a c section and be done with it? When it's compeltely against anything I wanted for me or Madeline... or Lizzy for that matter... if I have a C section there's a minimum 72 hour stay over period from time of delivery - that means I'm away from Lizzy at night for 3 additional days instead of just one night. I've never been away from her overnight... I can tell you right now that I (and probably her too) WON'T deal with that well... I'm having a hard enough time thinking of leaving her for 1 night - knowing that my chances of having Maddy naturally are so slim now, this is making me want to go back on this whole pregnancy thing. Why couldn't the doctors have told me this WEEKS ago? I mean, they know all the same info back then... they talked with me about an induction if the baby got too big - and now thanks to some rule, they just can't follow through? UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, AND to top all that good news off... they informed that if I don't have AT LEAST 4 hours of antibiotics for the group strep B in me they won't let me deliver her naturally even if i could... so on the off chance she does come early, if I have a fast labor - they STILL won't let me have a natural birth. But plan an induction so that they KNOW I'll have all the meds first? No, that would make sense so we just can't have that.

*sigh* I can't tell you the last time I felt this depressed and helpless. I hate this.