Emotionally Drained.

Well I'm feeling a bit better this morning... yesterday was very hard on me emotionally and reading back... I really should have just kept all that to myself. I was frustrated, angry at myself and I'm glad I didn't answer any phone calls as I'd probably be making apologies today.

Having said that... I'm still down - but realize that I need to look at this differently, while I can't do anything for Madeline right now except keep her in there - I can enjoy these last few days with my Lizzy. I'm planning on taking her out to lunch and for ice cream here in a few minutes - (she LOVES ice cream. LOL) silly girl. She's been such a trooper the last few weeks, always coming in when I was sick and kissing my forehead saying I love you and then reading quietly or just playing by herself while I napped - my precious baby is growing up so fast... I want to make the most of these last few days with her.

Our house is HOT, dear Lord is it hot in here... they say the new AC unit will be in within a week... thank Goodness. It's insanely hot in this house (probably 85 or higher?) And there's nothing I can do about it except wait for the new unit to be installed soon...

So in the mean time, I think we'll head to the park for an hour or so and then go get some lunch.

I've made up my mind not to let this get me down any more - though I have decided that I doubt I'll ever get pregnant again. It would have to take some pretty huge circumstances to convince me otherwise. For now - I'm ready to have my life with my 2 girls. I dream of all the neat things we'll be able to do with them and that's helping to get me through this emotionally draining period of wait wait wait.

Anyway. I felt the need to update. Lizzy is healthy, she's beautiful and so strong - and I want to just focus on her right now and enjoy her being a single child for a few more days. :)