Nothing New

Well for the simple purposes of updating and having something too look back at and hold over Maddy's head when she's 16 and I can say "See what I went through to get you here kid?!" Here goes my update from my day yesterday...

3:30 am. I get a phone call to say "We're over full - don't come in, call back around 9 and we'll see about possibly getting you in late afternoon for the induction." Great... well who's going back to sleep after that? Not I... or Jay... and poor Linda who decided to stay at her house and come over early got up at 4 - I sent her a text but she never got it... then just in case I called her at 5:30 - good thing I did, she was about to head over. I called back at 6 am (impatient woman that I am) and just asked how things were going - they said call back late morning and they'll update me. Fun. 10 minutes later I get a call back from my doctor saying, "I go off duty here soon so go ahead and shower and come on in, I'll have a room ready for you in an hour." Woot! That made me smile... phone call back to Linda and I jumped in the shower, trying to take my time. All that moving around got my contractions going again and they were about 7 minutes apart. My thinking is this is going to be pretty smooth since I'm already in mild labor!

We get to the hospital at 7:30 - check in, everything's going well... they saved a room for me (waiting room already had 2 overflow patients) but my doctor wanted to get me started so they booked me in, hooked up my IV and I was on pitocin and antibiotics by 8.

The contractions picked up immediately... which I was fine with... within 30 minutes they were about a minute apart and lasting a little over a minute each. OUCH but it was worth it. They offerred me an epidural pretty quickly since I was laboring so hard but warned that it might slow down my progress so I held off. I continued breathing through the contractions for the next 4 hours while we waited for my body to start dialating more... didn't happen. By 12:30 my doctor came in and started on the whole c section thing - I told her plainly that 4 hours of labor wasn't even close to enough and that I wasn't going to a c section until I reached 10 centimeters and at least TRIED to push her out. She seemed a little annoyed but went along with my decision - then 10 minutes later her attending came in and the hell started. Her attending tried her best to scare the crap out of Jay and I telling us that there was a 15% chance that Madeline was going to have a limp arm from the shoulder distocia... making us sign a waiver saying we wouldn't sue the hospital and that we'd been counseled on choosing a C section and declined it. I was so annoyed... I asked her WHY she thought I had a shoulder distocia? I never have gotten a clear answer - Lizzy was a dream pregnancy and dream delivery- sure she got stuck for an hour and I had to push for 2 1/2 hours straight - but so what? Isn't that normal for first time babies? Nooooo getting stuck for an hour is too long - and blah blah - I asked her to show me the medical records from Lizzy's hospital b/c I just wasn't buying it. And I was tired of people making us feel like bad parents for wanting to go natural. She said she'd go get them... came back and said they didn't have them. Uh... what?! Why not? I signed the paperwork WAY back in the begining of all this weeks and weeks ago saying you had permission to get my records. They just never did. They based the whole entire shoulder distocia off of my verbal recollection of labor back on my first visit. Apparently when I said she got stuck that set of red flags... then when I told them a nurse had to help push on my stomach/pelvic bone to help transition Lizzy that sealed the deal. Instant shoulder distocia. (Said my RESIDENT doctor... not attending - she assumed. Same girl that shouldn't have ordered the amnio 10 days ago.) Not bothring to check the actual records, all this time we've been scared and worried about the baby getting stuck again and having all these horrid problems that the doctors made us feel like would definately happen should we go natural.

Anyways. I told her to call the hospital immediately and get my records. I was having none of this - if I had truly had a SD then that's fine, we'll go from there - but I just had a very strong feeling that my doctor had goofed up again. And I was right. An hour later when the paper work came back saying I had a very smooth delivery, the baby had gotten stuck but with a few different positions they were able to work her out with no problems... it listed that she'd swallowed meconium and had the cord around her neck twice - but that her apgars came back high and that it didn't cause anything to worry about and she went home 24 hours exactly after delivery, a very healthy baby.

So all these weeks of worrying - and it was for no reason... SO now they're mad that they induced me. Great. Without the worry of a high risk pregnancy they were ready to wash their hands of me... didn't matter that I was sitting there in active labor contracting like crazy - nope. They asked me immediately to go home. I refused... it was only 5 - I didn't see any reason why I needed to put my body through the hell of stopping labor early (or at least reducing it without the pitocin) just because I was no longer high risk. I'm due tomorrow for pete's sake! Give me a freaking break. No, I'll stay thanks. Well that just pissed off the doctors plenty... they said fine and left me alone - but immediately ordered the nurse to reduce the pitocin... which caused me to stop dialating, and in turn slowed down my labor.

Here's the kicker, had I taken the epidural when they offered they never would have sent me home... but no, I try to stay strong and tough it out so my labor keeps progressing - and I get the boot. Lovely. By this time it's getting close to 7 pm and a new attending comes on call... no sooner had they let me know I was changing doctors than he comes waltzing in with the worst attitude I've ever seen in a doctor. He took one look at me and said "I want you to go home. I'm taking you off the pitocin completely so theres nothing you can say or do about it. There are patients out there in labor that are futher dialated and they're higher priority than you... I want your room for them and you're being selfish to want to stay when other people need the room." Jerk. Guess what buddy? I've put in my time... I've been the one stuffed in the oxygen closet for 8 hours with no pillow, no private bathroom, stuck with another patient and no privacy... the one with no designated nurse b/c that's not considered a real room - yeah. I've been there. I'm over it. If I leave now, you're telling me there's a strong chance I'll go into labor tonight and I"ll have to come back and sit in the waiting room or oxygen room in labor? Uh. Thanks jerk.

Of course, I didn't say that... I just started crying. My nurse got really ticked at the doctor for being so rude - the whole time we were there she was very supportive of having a natural birth... every time they'd suggest a c section and I'd turn them down, she'd stay in the room and say she was rooting for me and would do whatever she could to help me go naturally. Bless her heart she was the only reason I didn't fall apart any earlier than I did.

Anyway. He took me off the pitocin, my labor slowed down and we got sent home. It was an awful day - 12 hours of HARD contractions... no epidural, just working my way through the contractions. Our nurse would come in and sit with me during the late afternoon - she'd hold my hand while I was breathing hard and always offer me ice after the contractions so I could keep my energy up. She was precious. So to nurse Arlene, I say thank you. Were it not for you I think I would have gone crazy yesterday.

To the rest of the screwball doctors to you I say... screw you. I'm going to another hospital. And I am. I called Trident this morning and had my paperwork transferred there... technically I wasn't supposed to go there as we still owe some money for Lizzy's delivery when we were self pay but the nurse was really sweet when I explained everything to her - she said by law we can't kick you out and we have to take your insurance - so while we can't register you - you will receive no less than 100% good care while you're here.

That made me feel SO much better... I had a great experience with Lizzy's birth - and at this point since every single report says Madeline is healthy - I'm not worried about her being born at a hospital with a NICU (Trident has a level two nursery but they have to transfer sick babies to MUSC for NICU care.) And since I'm no longer worried about the shoulder distocia I'm much more comfortable letting her come naturally. Turns out they said I shouldn't have a problem delivering her even if she's a large baby. Soooo unless something goes horribly wrong - I'll be having the natural birth I want - even if she doesn't arrive until 41 weeks... which if she's anything like Lizzy -that's probably exactly what'll happen.

So be it. While I was looking forward to having her yesterday... more than I can say, and I'll admit last night I didn't sleep a wink I was so angry and frustrated... I sat on the sofa for several hours in the middle of the night just thinking and wondering, asking God why??? But... today, after some rest - my uterus is slowly going back to normal... I'm having trouble still b/c my body thinks it's in labor but my contractions are sporadic and not nearly as hard as yesterday - however I'm having a hard time eating anything as it all makes me sick, so I'm just drinking water waiting for my body to realize the pitocin was only temporary... and that I'm not really in labor right now. My arm is bruised from the IV - and I'm not looking forward to getting another one of those in a few days... but I figure even if she doesn't arrive for another 10 days - I'll live. It sucks, and she'll be huge - they're thinking she's over 8 lbs right now - but... she's healthy. And she'll be here before I know it. So I'm holding on... trying not to think about yesterday too much... if I'd agreed to a c section or epidural I'd be holding my baby right now - but I stayed strong - and I'm paying for it today with no baby. That's the worst part of all this for me.

Anyway... that's my update. Yesterday was probably hardest on me mentally - though my body took (and is still taking) a beating - mentally dealing with multiple doctors who didn't support me was exhausting... dealing with a jerk doctor at the end of a long hard day only made it worse... but knowing that I won't have to see him again makes things a lot easier on my mind.

So Madeline... little girl... you have caused your mommy so much stress and anxiety the last few weeks - I know you'll be worth every minute of it when you arrive, but sweetie, please please please do your mommy a favor and make your way south soon. Please? I'm pretty much over all this pregnancy stuff kiddo - if you never have a younger sibling - don't blame me. You are one major slow poke.