Fevers. Fun. Frantic.

My poor children. I swear I sometimes wonder when child services is going to show up on my doorstep & say "You know, this is just one time too many." I accidentally gave Madeline food poisoning yesterday... Worlds Best Mom Award goes to...

*sigh* I fed her some chicken soup for lunch that apparently had gone bad. I didn't taste it first, I don't warm up her soup usually because she just wants ice cubes to cool it until its cold. So I pulled it out of the fridge, stirred it up & served it with a smile. She gobbled it down and within 5 minutes was projectile vomitting. Yeah, apparently someone (*coughdaddycough*) forgot to cover the soup the day before.. and then popped a top on it early the next morning. Which was plenty of time for it to go bad. Anyway. Poor girl had it coming out both ends all day... and night... and off & on today. And right about the time she was back to normal, low and behold... Liz get's ill! This time I'm pretty sure it was not of my doing. She has an ear infection. This would be her 3rd one I think. Three in 4 1/2 years isn't too bad, but still. Poor girly is running a crazy high fever and hasn't eaten anything all day long. And then about 30 minutes after falling asleep she woke up and got sick all over her bed & pj's. So we had a late night bath & some new sheets & pj's. Unfortunately her "B" which accompanies her everywhere took a serious hit so it's in the washer as I type. Which makes for a rather miserable girly.

Anyway. Fevers are no fun. But I will say I love love love my temporal thermometer. Thank you Jesus for the (wo)man who invented that stroke of brilliance. Taking my kids tempature is no longer a battle and horrible experience, it's now so easy that half the time they sleep through it. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. If your kids have to be sick... this is a huge help. I recommend them to everyone.

Hoping my girls are 100% soon! I hate seeing them sick! We had a fun morning despite all the craziness. Maddy woke up feeling great (although she was filling her drawers at a rapid rate it didn't slow her down one bit) & Liz was fine this morning so I packed them up and we went to MOPS at the Longpoint Campus. It was lots of fun. Lizzy made a new friend in church a few weeks ago, and her mama is a super sweet gal. So we've been hanging out a bit. Sue has 2 girls, Cadance who's 5 (SUCH a sweetheart. Liz absolutely adores her.) and Lana her precious 13 month old (who Maddy's taken quite a liking to) and who has the biggest most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen on a baby. So sweet. Anyways.. Sue & brought her girls (and niece) to MOPS and then we all went out to lunch afterwards. Lots of fun & craziness with 5 little girls. Two of which were in high chairs, the other 3 had a great time. Liz wasn't hungry and said she was tired, but I figured she was worn out from playing during MOPS... little did I know. By the time we got home she was running a 101.5 fever. She passed out for 2 hours and then woke up with an even higher fever, and this was after the Tylenol.

SO. 1 dose of food poisoning. 1 big fat ear infection. My 2 sweet girls are just havin a rough week(end). Madeline seems to be completely over her nasties now. I'm hoping Liz sleeps well tonight, I get the feeling we may be up quite a bit cleaning sheets & changing pj's. Oh well... such is the life of a mama.

On a very nice note... it was 72 here today! Bliss I tell you, BLISS! I broke out the sandals & sundresses for my little cutie pies. And we all enjoyed the gorgeous sunshine... Spring please come and stay... forever! Summer, Fall & Winter can just kiss my hiney. I'll take spring forever please. =)

Best. Article. Ever.

For all my mama friends worried about those last few pounds... or in my case... 10's of pounds...


Parents Magazine April 2010...
Article on Butts. By Kari Anne Roy.

7 Stages of my New Butt
Getting used to your post-pregnancy booty.

Stage 1 - Denial. This isn't a new butt. It's the same awesome butt you had the day you got married.

Stage 2 - Shock. Well, it's technically the same butt, but for some reason it doesn't fit into the pants you wore last year - before you got pregnant. But there's no way your butt could be so drastically altered by having a baby. Could it? OMG!

Stage 3 - Anger. Fine. It's not the same butt. It has curves and divots and new places that sweat. It follows you wherever you go. Stupid, annoying butt and its stupid, annoying cellulite! Is it possible to get a restraining order to prevent it from stalking you?

Stage 4 - Depression. No dice. It turns out you can't get a restraining order against your own body. And if you inquire about it people laugh at you. And that makes you cry. As do the elastic-waist pants you just bought, even though you are nine months postpartum. Those lying liars who said "nine months on, nine months off" must have gotten to keep their original cute butt.

Stage 5 - Guilt. You are a grown woman. You have a degree. You know that women should be - and are - more than just hot bodies. You know objectification is cruel. You've read the magazine articles that tell you how awesome you are. You created life. And yet... this butt. IT WON'T GO AWAY!

Stage 6 - Fear. You probably have Flesh Expanding Butt Disease. It's very rare but if you get FEBD your butt will eventually consume your entire body, preventing you from leading a normal life. There is no cure for this horrible ailment. Best to just go buy a bunch of sweatpants.

Stage 7 - Acceptance. Right. So it isn't that bad, really. Your new butt does come with some nice features. It's easier to close the car door now. Your kids have something to hang on when you're at the grocery store. And your husband likes it. A lot. In fact, your new butt is kind of growing on you...

Blackmail.

"Hey Mommy guess what?! Maddy's top teeth came in! She pooped really big and they came right in! Isn't that awesome mom?"

I'm saving this one for blackmail when she's 16.

Bizabis.

Madeline used to call Liz sissy. Then she tried saying Lizzy but it came out Sizzy. Now she calls her Bizabis.

And every time I hear it I laugh.

"Bizabis owwww! Bizabis pway wid me. Wub oo Bizabis."

Chatter bug.

I often wonder what goes on in Elizabeth's mind... somehow she manages to connect the most off the wall subjects & relates them to her ever day life. This morning she crawled in bed next to me & started telling me a story. It went something like this:

"Mama, when we say our prayers this is how we keep our eyes closed to listen to our prayers, it makes Jesus happy when we listen to our prayers. I pray to go to a hotel mommy, I want to visit the red hotel where we can choose 2 friends to go to Disney World & sleep in our hotel. You get to pick daddy & I'll pick Maddy. I can bring all my princess dollies to Disney & maybe we can get Maddy matching ones & maybe we can get princess shoes & maybe & I smell something funny, oh yeah I tooted, and maybe we can have Maddys little potty in disney. I can lift Maddy high & show her how to potty, we have to learn her how & we can all girls across & maybe we can make a tiny igloo for me & Mad & where would the door go? & maybe we can make a TV out of our house & then we can put the TV in our igloo & we can pick a movie out & see what one I like & maybe a cat movie with the color rainbow cats. Remember the girl from the place where the man filled the machine with crackers & took all the money?"

And on and on she goes. Where she'll stop, nobody knows. It's hilarious. As long as I look interested & nod my head appropriately she'll keep going. I wonder at the way she can go from talking about princess shoes, to igloo tv's & then vending machines. And that is just the beginning! Given the chance Elizabeth would tell you all the nitty gritty details of daily living in the Clemmons house from the way she stepped on a spider and squished it good, to how often she uses the potty & washes her hands. She'd tell you about the letter "E" which is her favorite of course and then tell you that A starts with Apple. (Yes, that's how she says it.) My chatter bug keeps us entertained that's for sure. I know I'll miss these moments eventually but when you cross the threshold to hour 4 of randomness I confess a small (but growing larger all the time) part of me wants to play the "lets distract her with ANYTHING" game.

I love my Lizzy. She really is a hoot to live with. She's growing so fast... she's so tall & leggy. While Madeline takes after me (a bit squatty with short legs) Elizabeth takes after her Aunt Bethy. I bought their swimsuits at the Gymboree Outlets the other day. They were running all their suits on sale for $12.99 - which is amazing. I can't find them that cheap at Target and these will hold up much better. I got Liz her first big girl 2 piece. It's very modest though... more of a tankini. (Jay flipped out when I told him over the phone about it being a 2 piece, he's VERY conservative when it comes to his little girls, nothing too tight or skin baring is allowed in our house, but once he saw it he grudgingly agreed to taking the tags off & keeping it.) Here's some pics of the girls who immediately had to put their new suits on the moment we got home from shopping.

Yesterday we got to see a vending machine man (hence that part of the story) take out the money and refill the chips. The man looked like he was down & not enjoying his day. But my girls were frozen in interest, watching the "behind the scenes" tour of vending machines. So we waited and watched. I explained each step of the process to them in quiet tones while we watched the man unlock the door, pull it open & empty the change box. Then he pulled out each shelf and refilled the items. All the while Liz & Maddy sat absolutely still watching his every move. I realized this must be very facinating for them so we sat for awhile & just watched. The man overheard me talking to the girls and all of the sudden he became more animated, asking them questions about themselves. Prompting them to ask questions about what he was up to. He showed them where the money goes & how the machine buttons work. And then at the end he let them pick out some crackers for a snack... while the door was still open. Boy did they think that was awesome. Lizzy was in near reverance as she picked out her cheezits & with eyes wide as saucers she whispered "Thank you sir... thank you for my special snack!" I could see the mans chest inflate as he realized his job had made a child smile that day... it was a neat moment for all of us. Lizzy later spent 20 minutes explaining to daddy the thrilling process of refilling vending machines.

That brief encounter made me realize just how big this world is and how exciting it is for my girls to discover new things. The smallest things are thrilling to them.

Last night it occured to me that I have been guilty of skipping over Maddy's foundational education in favor of Lizzy's amazing progress into the world of reading. Every day I work with the girls on letters, sounds, and the exciting process of turning those letters into stories. But last night it dawned on me that while my 2 year old can identify the letters E & M without difficulty... she has no clue what a circle is. She can't color in the lines, and every crayon she picks up is "green". Oops. Big big oops. It was a sad reminder for me that I'm (accidentally) forcing Maddy to grow up far too quickly. She's 2, she's not ready to read. Letters which facinate her should not be on her radar yet. I skipped steps 1 & 2 in favor of the more exciting step 3 but what sort of foundation is that? So what if she can read if she can't understand *what* she's talking about? So back to the basics we go. Today I'm enjoying the smaller process of red circle, blue square & yellow triangle... and yes... the color green. The real one that is.

Rockin the 80's Prom.

Life is full of moments... some of which you can only look back at and laugh at yourself.

Which brings me to my point: 80's Prom. So totally rad dude. ;)

Dear Friend.

Dear Friend, I owe you an apology. I'd apologize in person except that I used the word friend loosley and frankly I'm not sure you could handle an apology in an appropriate manner. However, I'm sorry. When you rang me on the phone this morning, asking me if I'd just got up at 10 am when I'd actually been up since 7... and then proceeded to say how nice it must be to sleep in every morning and not go to work... I'm pretty sure I wasn't very gracious in my response. No, let me edit that. I know I was downright insulted. I realize my scathing reply to your not so kind question of "Do you ever think you'll start working again?" was not as gentle as it should have been. When I replied with "I'm actually working as we speak! I'm multi talented that way. I'm currently the Human Resource Manager for E & M Adventures, in addition to being a full time nurse & part time chef, I also drive a taxi & run a laundromat. In my spare time I babysit 24 hours a day 7 days a week. What was it you do again? Oh yes. Sit at your desk all day & go out to lunch with friends for an hour each afternoon. Gosh... I guess I should think about going back to work soon so I can take a rest!" You thought I was joking. You laughed & said "Yeah yeah I still wish I could sleep in every day." I apologize for hanging up after I replied: "Yeah, me too."

*steps off soap box* Seriously. Do people really think raising kids involves sleeping in every day & no work? Really? Is that what your mother did? Mine certainly didn't. My mom was up before all of us doing laundry before breakfast & after we all went to bed there was usually another basket full of clothes at her feet ready to be folded. Not to mention the never ending list of chores during the day, and finding time to spend with each of us kids. Good grief. Have some common sense please.

Oh well. Phone calls like the one my day started with make me appreciate my own mother, grandmother & the women before them who took the time to teach their daughters right. (Not to say I have it down... Lord only knows I am a far cry from the awesome housewife my mom is but still.) It shocks me how some people think of a stay at home mother...